About Coach Alex Hristov
I’ve lived through everything I coach. And every tool I use is backed by medicine and science.
At 40 I had two Bachelor’s degrees, had successfully made a major career change and was an established Senior Software Engineer. I’d worked my way from an entry Junior Developer, through projects large and small, various responsibilities, and leadership roles on various mission critical teams. I was in meetings with business leaders and C levels.
I was married with a house and had plenty of friends.
Overall, things were great.
Except they really weren’t.
For a decade I’d been dealing a mystery health issue that nobody could diagnose. It gradually got worse over the years to the point it affected my work and my marriage. Finally it got bad enough that I could no longer work and my marriage fell apart. I couldn’t even go to the store to buy myself food.
And just like that, my entire life was lost. I ended up in a bed in a room in my parents’ house for the next five years mostly in excruciating pain and isolation.
During that half decade I had to figure out how to get out of heavy depression, generate hope out of thin air, battle disassociation, a loss of all freedom, and find ways to stay resilient and not give up. Those were the prerequisites for basic survival so I could start focusing on reading medical journals and diagnosing myself.
After successfully diagnosing the problem, I developed a recovery program and then…freedom!
Ugh…not quite.
“Freedom” came in tiny and very highly difficult increments. The physical atrophy from 5 years of bedrest was to some degree the smallest of my problems. My walks started by going to the cul-de-sac and coming back. A total of 4 minutes. 3 years later I still don’t know what a pain-free day is but things are much better and I’m mostly a normal person.
The other parts of freedom were (thankfully shorter) but way more intense. I had to face all the loss I’d lived through but hadn’t had time to process while in pure survival mode. I had to re-integrate into society. That was anxiety cranked up to 100 as I started dating, making new friends, building a business. Building a new life from the ground up. And I was a new person. This all happened without the benefit gradual natural change. It was everything all at once and it was all new and scary. It was heavy existential stuff.
Managing change and coming out on top is not a mystical endeavor. The tools exist.
Through all the experiences during the “dark years” and the “rebirth” period, I had become more and more interested in psychology. And I realized that the psychological methods I’d used all along fall under the umbrella of cognitive restructuring – a medically proven method for learning to identify and dispute irrational or maladaptive thoughts known as cognitive distortions. It’s a tool used in CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). This is at the core of everything I teach.
I’ve regained my freedom, left behind stress and anxiety, I’m always (well, let’s not bring up politics) in a good mood and I find joy in the smallest corners of life. I’ve created a job for myself that I love and I’ve surrounded myself with good people. I’ve rebuilt my life, dignity, confidence. And, it’s not because I stumbled upon some secret formula, spent a decade in spiritual pursuit, or relied on motivational platitudes.
It’s because of practical no-bullshit problem solving and healthy mental and physical habits based on medically developed techniques (here are the reasons it works).
Struggling with a life transition? Needing a mindset shift? Let’s chat.
Random personal stuff that you may or may not find interesting.
I have two cats, an absurd amount of model trains, and follow Formula 1 and the English Premiere League. Exercise is a daily thing. Some days I love it, some days I don’t and some days I’m just not up to it. But on average, it’s a daily thing.
Music is a constant in my life – both live and recorded and I go to concerts whenever I can. My tastes span across many genres and I’ve become too spoiled by streaming. I’m regularly creating the new bestest of them all playlist only to lose interest because perfection is impossible. Oh well, the music is still good so whatever.
I’m forever interested in tech, history, sociology, archeology, psychology, anthropology, equal rights, the environment.
If you’re interested in my professional background, take a look at my LinkedIn profile.