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Ending imposter syndrome

Data shows that at least 70% of us will experience imposter syndrome at some point in our lives.

Once upon a time when I was an engineer in tech I struggled. I felt like everyone around me knew more than I did and was better at doing everything. I thought that eventually people around me would figure out that I’m faking my way through things and that would be the end of me. I would be fired/laid off and my career would come to a premature end.

Now, let’s make one thing very clear: I worked with a lot of VERY intelligent people. People who lived and breathed code, for whom software was a passion, and who were highly educated. People who I respected and knew for a fact were better software engineers than I was. So my imposter syndrome wasn’t exactly without merit.

It was a total downer (duh) and created a lot of stress for me (again, duh).

Unfortunately, at the time I didn’t know what I know now. I was still (relatively) young and there were lessons I hadn’t learned yet and knowledge and experience I was yet to gain.

Fast forward several years to when I started my company (this company) and my coaching profession. Just like back in my engineering days, I was doubting myself and felt like a fake. My very first thought every morning as I woke up was “what the fuck am I doing? This will all end in disaster”.

But unlike back in the day, this time I knew what to do. That very first thought was a negative self-defeating one based on nothing particularly factual (well, Id’ never started my own business before so that had a lot to do with it). So, I would religiously follow it up with the following: I listed out all the facts supporting the reasons for why am in fact quite qualified to be a coach, why I have something to offer and why I am effective.

Like any thinking pattern change, it took time to override the false negative narrative I had. But in the end, I stopped having those shitty thoughts and moved on with my life with confidence in my new profession and my ability to help people in ways that others can not.

Now, if I were to talk to my younger self I would tell him exactly what I will tell you:

Every time you feel like a fake, list out every project you’ve worked on. Every raise and promotion you’ve received. Every time you’ve gone through the interview process and have been hired. Every professional recognition you’ve received. Every time someone has come to you with a question – they’re coming to *you* because they know you probably have the answer. Every meeting you’ve attended with higher-ups where your input was requested/required.

This list is filled with FACTS about YOUR professional acumen/ability/competence/knowledge/etc. Regardless of how you *feel*, the facts speak for themselves. And since they’re facts, they are indisputable evidence that you’re not a fake. Remind yourself of these professional facts EVERY SINGLE TIME you feel the imposter syndrome coming on.

Here’s the thing: if my younger self had done this it list and countered the negative thoughts, it wouldn’t have made him a better engineer. He worked with truly killer engineers. They were on another level there’s no way around it. But what it would have done is highlight all the reasons why he belonged where he was. It would have highlighted the value he brought. It would have allowed him to enjoy what he was best at knowing that THAT was what others saw, THAT was why they needed him there, THAT was why he belonged. It would have been a much happier time for him.