resources > Make friends as an adult

How to make friends as an adult. It takes a bit of work and a bit of fun.

The problem is that we’re not in the same environment we were in when we were young. As kids we spent most of our time at school. That meant we were constantly surrounded by the same large group of people for a very long time – usually years. This made it very easy to get to know and find others we could be friends with.

As adults, the closest to that is our job. But jobs aren’t really conducive to finding friends (it’s not impossible obviously but it’s much more difficult). The workplace is competitive, we’re too busy, and our regular interactions are probably with no more than a handful of people. So, the environment is simply not right for the purpose of making friends.

So what to do? 3 things:

Look for clubs/groups in your area that focus on something you’re interested in. Or maybe something that you have no idea if you’ll like or not. Take a leap on something totally foreign to you and see how it goes.

Join facebook groups that share your interests. But! Make sure to join groups that actually meet in real life.

Join Meetup groups (meetup.com) in your area. Meetup groups are fantastic because everyone there either is or was in the same boat as you. They’re all looking for social connection. I myself have attended many meetups and made good friends.

Bonus: if you live close to a city and have the ability to – move to the city. Cities are full of people and life. As a sidenote – if you’ve exposed yourself to enough of a certain type of media you may think that cities are dangerous places full of criminals and whatnot. This is complete and total bullshit and is a scare tactic used to influence you to not like particular groups of people.

Regardless of which path you choose (I recommend all of them), the important thing is to join in the activities regularly. It’s the only way to get to know people. If you’re anxious to meet strangers, keep in mind that the people you’re about to meet are there for the exact same reason you are – they’re looking for social connection and perhaps even friendship. And keep in mind that they’re probably anxious as well.

The goal – the entire goal – is to be exposed to as many people as possible. The more connections you make, the more likely you are to find someone (or multiple someones) you connect with and can start building a friendship with.

And yeah, it will probably take time. That’s ok – you’ll be interacting with others and doing fun activities in the meantime.